Why We Delay What Matters Most—And How to Change That

The Second First Step: On Restarting, Resilience & Showing Up

I used to think I should only write when I had a problem and a solution. But here’s what I’ve learned:

Growth isn’t always about knowing — it’s often about showing up with your questions.

This blog is me letting go of perfection. I’m okay now with open endings, blog series, and learning in public. Some of you noticed my silence — and I hear you. This is me, committing again.

So… here we go.

Success, First Steps, and the Distance Between

I was recently reflecting on success and what it really takes to get there.

No, I haven’t reached my definition of success (yet). But I realized something crucial:

The biggest distance between me and success is the distance between me and my first step.

Success evolves. What felt like “it” last year might not feel the same today.But the first step is the constant — the foundation.

Whether it’s your fitness, finances, or creative life, the first step tells you how far (and fast) you’ll go.

The Second First Step (Yes, It’s Real)

I wanted to end my writing sabbatical eight months ago.But I didn’t. I froze. I waited. I delayed.

And so, this blog (and the last one) is my “first step”… again.

Sometimes, you need to take that step twice.The difference? This time, you're not stepping into the unknown — you're stepping in with experience.

What Happened? Life Happened

Let’s call it what it is: life got in the way.

One of the biggest blocks to our progress is ourselves.

In my case? A weird mix of:

• Fear of failure

• Fear of success

• Overthinking

• And a very convincing internal narrator saying, “Later…”

Our minds are masters at justifying procrastination.

Habits Shape Identity

I go to the gym 5–6 times a week. It’s non-negotiable. I don’t even debate it anymore.

Imagine if writing felt the same?If I make writing a habit — it becomes part of who I am, not just something I do.

What’s that one thing you want to build into your identity?

Emotional Resilience Might Look Selfish (But It’s Not)

Pursuing what matters to you might look selfish. But it’s not.It’s self-preservation.

And even if it is selfish — so what?

www.thefriendlypsycho.com

The space between where you are and where you want to be is often filled with the people and things you love most.

Example?I love craft beer 🍻 — but it’s my biggest blocker in hitting 13% body fat. (Currently at 19%. We’re getting there haha.)

Another one?I told myself I needed to “settle into married life” before writing again.Imagine using your most precious life change as a reason not to follow your passion.

It’s… wild.

So How Do You Actually Take the First Step?

If you’ve delayed something important — painting, meditating, traveling, writing — hear this:

It’s okay. You can still start. Today.

1. Define a Trigger (Time or Event)

Set a deadline if you can. If that’s hard, anchor your start to an event.“After this travel ends, I’ll start.”“Once this project wraps, I’ll begin.”

That’s exactly how I got back to blogging.

2. Use Guilt (Constructively)

This one’s unconventional, but powerful.

Let yourself feel a little guilty for not doing what matters to you.

Guilt shows you care. It brings accountability.Don’t avoid it — let it push you into action.

And set a rule:🛎️ The guilt goes away only once the action is done.

3. Build Accountability (Inspired by My Wife )

My wife has this amazing superpower: journaling + tracking every task.

Her rule?“If something keeps showing up on my list, it means I’m avoiding it. That’s a red flag.”

She got me into accountability tracking too — daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.

Together, we talk goals, realign, and nudge each other.(Thank you, love, if you’re reading this. ♥️)

4. No Partner? No Problem. Use Sticky Notes

Place sticky notes wherever you spend time — desk, closet, mirror… even your bathroom. (I have some in mine 😅)

Keep your intentions visible.Loud. Physical. Real.

📬 Let’s Talk

If you’ve read this far, something resonated.I’d genuinely love to hear what it was.

Email me at meetthefriendlypsycho@gmail.com tell me:

• What you’ve been delaying

• What helps you move forward

• What you want me to write about next

This Is an Ongoing Journey

I’m not done. This blog is part of my process — and I’ll keep writing, learning, and sharing.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for your time and trust.

Until next time,—The Friendly Psycho