The Paradox of Commitment: Freedom in Restraint

One of the smallest decisions that can bring the biggest shifts in your life is commitment.

It sounds simple — and at first, it often is. But over time, it demands something deeper:Discipline. Attention. Energy. Repetition.

Here’s what’s interesting:

Our brains actually resist commitment — even to the things we love.

Why? Because commitment feels like the end of freedom.

There’s a psychological principle known as Brehm’s Reactance Theory (1996).It suggests that when our sense of freedom is threatened — even by our own choices — we subconsciously push back.A kind of internal rebellion. A quiet protest.

In other words, we sometimes sabotage our own dreams… just because our brain feels trapped by the idea of staying consistent.

How to Reframe It

Here’s a shift that’s changed my life:

If you commit to an activity, you may feel caged.But if you commit to a purpose, you’ll feel liberated.

Think of the athlete who trains not just for themselves, but for their country.The father who works out daily so he can stay strong for his family.The single mother, studying late into the night — not for a grade, but for a bigger home her children can grow up in.

Purpose gives commitment wings.When your “why” is bigger than your discomfort, commitment feels like fuel — not a prison.

But... What About Everyday Life?

Let’s be honest — most of us aren’t training for the Olympics or running for office.In real life, we have distractions, stress, deadlines, and just… fatigue.

And expecting yourself to be 100% consistent and hyper-focused every single day? That’s not realistic.So — how do we make commitment work without burning out?

The Science of Sticking With It

Here’s what I discovered (and personally use):

1. Public Commitment Increases Follow-Through

A classic study by Cialdini et al. (1981) on “Public Commitment and Accountability” showed that people who made a public commitment were significantly more likely to follow through.

Why?Because our ego hates inconsistency. If we say it out loud, we want to be seen living it out.

So yes — post about it. Tell your group chat. Make it known.Even if no one checks in, your mind will remember that others might be watching.That little fear of judgment? It can work in your favor.

2. But Public Declarations Aren’t for Everyone

Not everyone wants to broadcast their goals — and that’s okay.What you really need isn’t the crowd... it’s accountability.

Find just one person to keep you honest. Someone who asks, “Did you do it today?”That’s enough. And it works.

3. Use Loss Aversion as Leverage

Behavioral economics tells us:

We are more motivated by the fear of loss than by the hope of gain.

So let’s flip the game.

Here’s what I tried (and trust me — it works):

Bet money on your goal.Give it to someone close — your partner, sibling, friend.Tell them: “If I don’t do [X goal] for [Y number of days], you get to spend this however you want.”

Example:“If I don’t go to the gym 20 times this month, I owe you ₹15,000 to spend however you like.”If I win, I get it back. If I lose — we’re going shopping.

It’s fun, and it makes the stakes real.

Play By Your Own Rules

Your life is your playfield.

No one else is keeping score.

You can make your own rules, set your own goals, and define your own wins.

Thats the beauty.

You can choose commitment as your superpower — not your prison.

So commit to something today.Not just a task, but a purpose.Not for the world — for you.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for your time and trust.

Until next time,—The Friendly Psycho