Truth vs Perception: Why What You Say Isn’t Always What People Hear

Two people confused during a truth vs perception in communication moment

“You can have all the facts. All the proof. All the logic.

But if the listener isn’t ready—or doesn’t care—it won’t land.”

That’s a hard pill to swallow.

But here’s a paradox that plays out every single day:

In communication—whether it’s at work, in relationships, or even casual conversations—the truth doesn’t always carry the weight we think it does.

And the question is: why?

The Difference Between What We Say and What They Hear (truth vs perception)

While reflecting on soft skills and the art of meaningful communication, I realized something jarring:

We often believe that just having the truth, the clarity, and the reasoning is enough to get our message across.

But experience says otherwise.

You might lay out a perfectly logical argument, or present data that points unmistakably to a conclusion—and yet, the person in front of you might still not “get it.”

Or worse… they might reject it entirely.

This isn’t just frustrating. It’s confusing.

The Missing Link: Emotional Relevance

Let’s bring in a concept that rarely gets enough attention: emotional data.

This refers to:

• What the listener cares about

• What they’re ready to accept

• And what is personally relevant to them in that moment

Here’s the twist: emotional data often trumps objective facts.

You could be 100% right. You could have all the evidence. But if it’s not aligned with the other person’s emotional landscape or priorities, it will fall flat.

A Quick Analogy

It’s like trying to convince my wife to switch from her beloved masala chai to coffee.

I come in hot with articles, antioxidants, and celebrity endorsements. I’m talking energy boosts, slow caffeine release, metabolism magic… and she’s just staring at me like I asked her to replace Shah Rukh Khan with Shrek.

She sips her chai, raises one eyebrow, and says, “Does your coffee come with cardamom, ginger, and peace of mind?”

Case closed.

Because in communication — if your message doesn’t stir their cup, it’s not going to be heard. No matter how green and frothy it is.

A Real-Life IT Example

In my field (IT), I often have to point out issues with device performance, system flaws, or software underuse to clients.

And even when the data is valid, complete, and visual… sometimes it just doesn’t land.

Why?

Because the stakeholder I’m speaking to is focused on the bigger picture—cost savings, strategic transformation, or compliance.

Not granular device-level problems.

So the truth I’m sharing, while technically accurate, is emotionally misplaced.

This Is Why Miscommunication Happens

Truth alone isn’t enough.

What we know → What we say → What we intend to say → What the listener hears

Each of those steps has space for distortion.

That’s where miscommunication, lost deals, misunderstandings, and emotional disconnection thrive.

And the hardest part?

Most people believe they’re being clear and rational—but communication isn’t just about clarity. It’s about connection.

So… What Can We Do Differently?

1. Be Humble, Not Cocky

Before you speak, ask:

“What matters to this person?”

Put yourself in their shoes. In relationships, ask:

• Why might they be feeling this way?

• What’s their underlying concern?

And when you don’t know? Ask.

“Help me understand what’s most important to you in this.”

You won’t get it right every time—but trying is half the battle.

2. Don’t Turn Every Conversation Into a Sales Pitch

Especially when you’re not in a “sales” moment.

Sharing your accomplishments is great—but if it feels like self-promotion in the wrong context, people shut down.

Instead:

• Lead with curiosity

• Share insights

• Drop in real stories

• Leave people with something to think about, not something to buy into

3. Accept That There Can Be More Than One Truth

This is a major mindset shift.

There can be more than one correct perspective.

There can be multiple versions of the truth—each valid within a different emotional or situational context.

And learning this? It changes everything.

It softens debates.

It deepens empathy.

And it makes conversations less about “winning” and more about understanding.

Final Thought: Truth Is Static. People Aren’t.

The truth may not change.

But what people are willing to hear, feel, and respond to changes every day.

So if you want to become a better communicator—at work, at home, or even in your inner self-talk—don’t just focus on being right.

Focus on being relevant.

Focus on being resonant.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what you say—it’s about what they take away.